i put headphones in 20 minutes ago and forgot to play music: a novel by me
(Source: uhmonda, via plzdontmakeme)
this is 911 state your emergency
YES I NEED HELP IMMEDIATELY I CAN’T FIND MY LIZARD
911 I THINK MY LIZARD IS BROKEN
YOU THINK YOU’VE GOT PROBLEMS? MY PHONE SEEMS TO HAVE LOST IT’S LEGS
911 I CAN’T GET MY PHONE OFF THE RECEIVER
MA’AM YOUR PHONE NEEDS TO BE IN THE UNLOCKED POSITION AND MAY NEED TO BE PROVIDED WITH ADDITIONAL HARDWARE TO FUNCTION CORRECTLY.
YES HELLO 911 CAN YOU HEAR ME I DROPPED MY HEADSET IN THE WATER DO YOU READ
TO BE HONEST 911, I AM NOT SURE WHAT MY PHONE IS DOING
911 MY PHONE IS FACING THE WRONG WAY AND I CAN’T GET IT TO TURN AROUND.
yes 911 hello all these people are crazy
(Source: babylizard, via plzdontmakeme)
THE HOLLA COURSE
“Pick up a book”. The irony
somebody give these children a medal.
(Source: internet, via coreydrake)
i’m not saying all white people are terrible some white people are amazing and i’m glad to have them in my life, but they are rare like maybe 1 in 50 white ppl is a trill individual i’ve done the math
one of my fav things to do is showing white ppl pics of pharrell and going, “how old do you think he is”, correcting them, then watching them be sad
i don’t like making fun of white people because do you see how they age god is already punishing them — my younger sister just now (via imbobswaget)
(Source: thizzelle, via alcoholicgifts)